My Facebook Status: "Me to my coworker: “I’m going to Target for lunch because I like doing un-fun things with my entire day.”
Some of you may be thinking, "What???!!! You don't like Target? There is endless amounts of cheap, fashionable shit to spend your money on there! How could you not like it?" Okay, I admit that Target has lots of fun stuff. Where else can you buy Xanax, lingerie and dog food all in one shopping trip? I get it. The problem here is that I've been a single mom for 8 years which has turned me into a cheap bastard. Anything involving spending money is not fun for me anymore.
The other problem I have with grocery shopping is that I've done 98% of my shopping with kids for the last 11 years. The kids and I cannot seem to come to a meeting of the minds on how to spend my money. I made you some graphs to illustrate because I know you like graphs:
The kids don't agree with my spending habits and they are very vocal about it:
And this is how I would actually like to spend my money:
Now do you see why every time I swipe my debit card at the store a little bit of my soul (one-way ticket to Tahiti) dies?